RELATIONSHIP RESOLUTIONS

Come the 1st January, we all start making our New Year Resolutions, mainly about ourselves, our new diet, our new fitness regime or our bad habits we are getting rid of.
But we should also focus our energy on New Year Resolutions for the relationship we are in, as we may have overindulged over Xmas, but our relationships will have become malnourished in the process.


So here are some idead for your Relationship Resolutions for 2011.............


Have More Sex - The Xmas drought has been and gone, so it's time you both get back to the bedroom.


Hug More - Did you know 20 seconds of hugging can release a cuddle hormone called Oxytocin and makes intimacy greater for you both. Men need three times more hugs in order to get the same amount of Oxytocin, so get those arms wrapped around him!


Recommit - It can become too easy to take our other half for granted, letting life get in the way and assuming everything is fine. Remember your respect for each other and show your appreciation more.


Share New Hobby - Too much routine is definitely a passion killer, so find something new to do together, like a dance class or sport together.


I Love You - You may still say it everyday, but if it's over texts or from the kitchen while he's watching TV, then you need to connect better. Look into their eyes and say you love them and I guarantee you will be glad that you did!


Pitch In Around The House - This one is for the guys and trust me it's not just because you love her and should help more with housework. Researchers in the Netherlands found it can act as a link to female arousal, due to the relaxation and gratitude it brings. So I'll put it simply to you men...If you want more oral from your woman wash the dishes!

WHAT HIS XMAS PRESENT REALLY MEANS

So Xmas has been and gone for another year, but here's how to tell what your man really feels about you depending on what present he got you.

Slippers

Run now! He desperately needs a maternal figure and I'm pretty sure the last time you checked, you weren't his mother.

Home Appliances

OK, so yes your vacuum did break and yes you have had your eye on that new flashy red toaster, but that doesn't mean you want it as a xmas present, right? A man that gets you this type of needed, but not wanted, gift is simply a very practical and logical man. You need to take him by the hand and explain in plain English thanks, but more romance is needed from him, not Dysons!

Stocking Fillers

If you recieve personal small gifts, such as books and Cds, this is a good thing, as it shows he has actually thought about what you really like, who your favourite author is, or what you have been pining over. He is more likely to keep it up throughout the year too, you lucky girl!

Jewellery

Earrings, bracelets, etc can be fine and thoughtful, providing it is to your taste and he went out of his way to get what you like. However, if it is a ring of the non engagement and no proposal type, beware as he is trying to get you to stick around, but is on no way looking to marry you yet.

Lingerie

He obviously finds you sexy, however, if you never really wear lingerie and tend to sit around in your PJs or girl boxers, he may be trying to hint that your bedroom life needs more spice in it.

Perfume

If he buys your favourite then it shows he listens and is attentive. Scent is very important to humans and it can create more intimacy, so if he bought you something that smells like your Gran's loo or a hooker, then he couldn't care less about your personal wants or taste.

Holiday

If he is whisking you away for a break and some quality time together then let me tell you, don't let him go! It's the ultimate romantic gesture that most girls, including me, would give their right arm for!

Gadgets

OK, so it might not be mushy or heart shaped, but trut me a man that buys you the best ipod or new phone is a keeper! Why? Because since caveman began, men like to be the sole owner of cool gadgets and if he is buying you one, he is showing his admiration for you by sharing this ownership.

Shoes

This can depend if he gets it right or not. A man who can get the perfect fit, latest style and perfect shoe is clearly either gay or the most amazing man on this earth and definitely worth holding onto! A woman's relationship with shoes is sacred and if your man gets it right don't let go, however if he gets it wrong don't worry, just explain to him you are too picky at shoes.

PRINCESSES RULE OVER WAGS

It seems the days of girls wishing they could be the next Coleen Rooney or Abbey Clancy are on the decline and more girls now dream of being a Princess.


Perhaps we are sick of reading about every footballers' new affair and infidelity scandal, but The Sun Newspaper recenlty published a poll for 13-19 year old girls with the results showing that whilst 35% admire Victoria Beckhams' relationship with the ever gorgeous David Beckham, 50% would rather have the realtionship of Kate Middleton and Prince William.


So with Princesses currently ruling the crown due to the recent engagement of Kate and Wills, the question begs will it last or will girls revert back to envying the WAGs?

Please girls, get your brain in gear and stick to preferring royalty over rubbish!


Princess Pros:

• Posh frocks and posher parties.
• Royalty and possibly a tiara.
• Power to rule and worldwide respect.
• Your very own decorative plate for people to put up in their cabinets.

Princess Cons:

• Must behave like Princess and set Royal example.
• Royal duties may get tedious.
• Lack of freedom.
• Public Scrutiny.

WAG Pros:

• Married to a famous footballer.
• Can make career and money off status without need for any actual brains or talent.
• Great clothes and fashion deals.
• Fame and fun parties.

WAG Cons:

• Married to a famous footballer, so when he cheats you will be pubicly humiliated.
• Spend a lot of time apart from your famous roving eyed footballer.
• Seen as skanky and stupid.
• Likely to develop eating disorder due to media calling you fat.

VERDICT: Princesses Rule!

FESTIVE FLIRTING

Tis the season to be flirty, so here's my top tips on flirting this Xmas......

• Eye contact - let your eyes meet and linger for just over a second. If he returns the gaze and smiles then he's interested.

• Chat Up Line - Too much worrying goes into what to say first and the so called chat up lines often backfire, so instead comment on something mutual, such as, the food, music or decorations and allow it to act as a springboard into a conversation.

• Body Language -don't fold your arms, look over their shoulders or appear tense as it all gives of a signal that you're not interested. Smile, listen and focus on them with your body turned towards them.

• Less To Impress - don't try to drink them under the table, boast about what car or job you have and how much money you earn, because they won't be impressed.

• Friendly - keep it light hearted and show that you are fun and friendly and whatever you do, don't bring up your aunt's death or your recent visit to the doctors.

Try these tips next time you're out for your festivities and grab yourself some flirty fun. But remember if they are already taken, step away and leave well alone.

HOW TO AVOID ARGUING AT XMAS

Every year thousands of couples break up due to the sheer stress and havoc the Xmas period can bring.

With so many problems rearing their ugly heads throughout December, it's no wonder relationships come under fire and people often rail road through December, forgetting to keep their relationships on track. Whilst this isn't enough to break a couple up, if you then add all the issues that Xmas brings, it can all too often end up in disaster.

The most important thing to do is sit down with your partner before December and chat about Xmas and what you want from it. Talk about where you want to spend Xmas, what budget you had in mind and what you expect from your partner, this way you will both be clear on what's ahead and be able to get organised with planning and letting family and friends know your plans.

So let's take a look at a few of the most common problems that can arise.....

Problem 1: Finances and Overspending.

If things aren’t talked through and planned properly, it can all be too easy for overspending to occur and arguments to start over the money problems that follow.

Solution: Do a Budget.

Sit down with your partner and plan out a spending budget for Xmas, including gifts, food, and alcohol. If you both live together then you should already be used to budgeting your finances for the household so make it the same for December.

Problem 2: Where To spend Xmas.

You're torn between whose family to please and so you end up leaving it until the last minute, making it a touchy subject between you both.

Solution: Decide in November.

Have a chat the month before about where you both want to spend it and compromise on what to do before the tension builds. By coming to a mutual decision early on you avoid the last minute stress and let down of others, including your partner.

Problem 3: Lack of Romance.

With so much going on, you find the only time you spend together is either with family or whilst drunk at parties, which can create distance between you both and lower the intimacy and romantic time you spend together.

Solution: Stay In More.

Don't go to the opening of every envelope! Just as you planned in advance the Xmas budget with you partner, you need to also plan which parties to go to and prioritise you partying. Whilst Xmas is the jolly time of year for going out more, don’t overdo it, as all the issues of being too drunk or spending too much on alcohol rear their nasty faces along with making sure you spend less 'alone' time together. People often spend all of December focusing so much on the festivities they forget to actually keep dating and loving each other. Go see a movie or have a romantic night in and you will find not only is your love life kept alight, but it keeps the lines of communication between you both running smoothly.

BREAK UP SONGS

The 13th December has been dubbed the most popular day of the year for being dumped, so if this is a heart breaking week for you here's a list of the best Breakup Songs for you to turn up the volume on and cry and shout your way to a mended heart...




ANGRY SONGS

• Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up.
• Evanescence - Call Mw When You're Sober.
• Kelis - I Hate You So Much Right Now.
• Green Day - Good Riddance.
• Eamon - Fuck It (Don't Want You Back)

SAD SONGS

• Toni Braxton - Unbreak My Heart.
• Jordan Sparks & Chris Brown - No Air.
• Guns n Roses - November Rain.
• Celine Dion - All By Myself.
• Roxette - Must Have Been Love.

EMPOWERING SONGS

• Christina Aguilera - Fighter.
• Destiny's Child - Survivor.
• Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Were Made For Walking.
• Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive.
• You're So Vain - Carly Simon.
• Cher - Strong Enough.
• Jessy - Look At Me Now.
• Britney Spears - Stronger.

FESTIVE FACTS

If you fancy being a bit geeky and knowledgable at parties and gatherings this year, here's a few facts about Xmas.......

• The first president to have a Xmas tree in the White House was Franklin Pierce.

• Tinsel was invented in Germany in 1610 and was made out of real silver.

• Pope Julius I declared December the 25th as the official Xmas day in the 4th Century.

• In 1647, the English Parliament passed a law that made Xmas illegal.

• Hallmark introduced the first Xmas cards in 1915.

• In the US, the Xmas season shows Visa cards alone are used over 5340 times every minute.

• The first Xmas card created was on December 9th 1842 in England.

• Santa Claus gets his name for Saint Nicholas, who in the 4th Century AD helped children and the poor by throwing gifts through their windows.

• During Xmas, 1.76 billion candy canes are made worldwide.

• Mistletoe was first used by druid priests 200 years BC.

• The biggest selling Xmas song of all time is 'White Christmas' by Bing Crosby.

• Traditional Xmas dinner in early England was the head of a pig prepared with mustard.

• Each year 34-36 million Xmas trees are produced to cope with the holiday demand in the UK.

TOP 10 XMAS FILMS

With temperatures below freezing it's time to curl up and watch all our favourite festive films and here's my top Ten List of the best to watch this year.

                                           

1) Home alone.
For those of us who can't survive a Xmas without seeing Kevin get left behind at Xmas and have to defend his home against idiot burglars.


2) Elf.
Who can resist a man raised as an elf in the north pole who goes to New York to find his father and with this he wrecks hilarious havoc.


3) Santa Claus the Movie.
Such a special xmas movie with an evil toy maker intent on ruining Xmas and the real santa of course.


4) The Grinch.
Jim Carey is fabulous as the Grinch in this great Xmas movie about a boy who grew up to hate Xmas.


5) The Santa Clause.
Tim allen is hilarious in this comedy as a man who accidentally kills Santa and has to replace him.


6) Miracle on 34th Street.
The 1994 version is my favourite about a little girl who has troubles believing until Santa shows her the way.


7) It's a Wonderful Life.
One of the most popular and tear jearking Xmas movies, where an angel shows a businessman what life would have been like if he didn't exist.


8) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
My favourite ever Xmas movie! Be prepared to get stitch from laughing with the great Griswalds and their family Xmas.


9) Jingle All the Way.
A great feel good family movie, with 'Arnie' trying to get a popular turbo man for his son at Xmas.


10) Nightmare Before Christmas.
For Xmas with a twist it's great to enjoy Tim Burton's animation of Halloweentown discovering Christmas.

HOW TO SURVIVE XMAS SINGLE

Xmas can often seem like a couple's holiday, with everyone talking about what they are buying their boyfriend/girlfriend and people walking around holding hands, but being single during the festive period has many many ups.


1) No In-Laws - You don't have to put up with someone else's relatives or try to make a good impression for them. So you can be your usual self with own family without worrying that your mother-in-law is glaring through the back of your head disapprovingly because you just downed a jelly shot and accidentally mentioned your new tattoo.


2) Shop til You drop - with no shopping to do as a couple, you have the freedom to go in whatever shop you want without having to drag around a miserable looking man whilst you try on yet another pair of shoes.


3) No Budget - with noone to put a cap on your spending over Xmas, you can spend as much as you want with no guilt at buying that £90 pair of boots you've had your eye on.


4) No Present Panic - the hardest part of being in a couple at Xmas is stressing out over what present to get them and you will be missing out on the frenzy of finding the perfect present that expresses your relationship, meaning you can spend more time buying presents for yourself!


5) Partying - you can go out as much as you want ,as often as you want,without having to explain yourself to anyone or having a time you need to be back for.

6) Festive Flirting - it's the best time of year to flirt and what better excuse to kiss that eye candy than to be able to carry round the mistletoe!

7) Remote Control - you can watch soppy movies without having to fight over the TV remote and be endured to yet another Stallone movie.

8) Xmas Day - you wont have to enter negotiations over whose family to visit or spend xmas with, leaving you more time to relax and enjoy xmas the simple way.

9) Stuffing - yes that's right girls, you can sit in you pj's and stuff yourself with all the choccies and not feel guilty about it.

10) More Girl Time - without having a man around to keep you occupied, it leaves you with more time to spend with the girls, whether it's shopping or partying!

ASK PRINCESS

Single and Lonely


Anon: I've been single for 3 years now and have never even been in love. I'm 26 and all my friends are getting married and settling down and it makes me angry  that I'm not doing the same. I hate coming home to an empty flat every night and I'm worried I'll never find Mr Right.

Princess: You sound like you've been hurt in the past and now you care more about what's on the inside than just looks and that's great. Not settling for second best is a good trait and when Mr Right comes along he will share that with you.
However, I think you're focusing too much on needing a man to be less lonely and this is wrong. I always found men are like buses and when you want one they never turn up, so you need to try and focus more on you and making yourself happy first.
If you're finding your friends are all settling then why not make some new friends who are single? Take up a hobby like dancing classes to get you out of the house and meet new people, or try taking an evening course to fill your free time. If you feel your flat is still too lonely, maybe consider getting a cat for company as they make greats pets, are easy to look after and are brilliant for cosying up with on those lonely nights.
I understand how this time of year can be hard for people on their own, so you should also read my article on How To Survive Xmas Single, which has great pointers for why it's great to be alone this Xmas.

WINTER DATE IDEAS

As the weekend draws closer and the cold freezing nights get more annoying, here's a few simple ideas as to where to go on a date so you don't give each other cabin fever and can still enjoy spending time together.

• German Markets - if you're bored of Xmas shopping on Saturday afternoons then try snapping up festive goodies with warm mulled wine and fresh giant pretzels, as it really offers the feel good factor this winter. Go to http://www.christmasmarkets.com/ to find the nearest to you.

• Outdoor Skating - a cliche and a classic and we've all seen it on the films when it comes to romantic dates and if you both fall over then at least you're out having fun too. www.enjoyengland.com/attractions/events and go to December Skating.

• Beer Festivals - this one is not just for the boys and it will certainly give you the winter warmer you both need and add a little variety to your normal date night . www.beerintheevening.com/beer/festivals

• Hotel Room - Before the Xmas run really kicks in, why not escape from it all with a quiet and cheap hotel for the night. It could be just what you both need to get away from it all and keep the romance ignited. http://www.laterooms.com/ offer good last mintue and cheap deals.

• Shopping - There's something romantic about wrapping up and walking around the shops together holding hands, with all the Xmas lights and festive windows and cheer. Leeds and York are great places to visit this winter.

• Grab a Coffee - shake off the cobwebs of being stuck indoors by going out  and grabbing a coffee together. It's the perfect way to chat and warm up. http://www.cosycoffeeshops.co.uk/

OFFICE PARTY DO'S & DONT'S

Yes it's that time of year again when work places gather in mass for their Xmas parties along with the horrid outcome of embarrassing antics and drink fuelled ramblings that leave you too ashamed to head back to work on Monday.
This year make sure your office party goes well by taking note of these office party do's and dont's....

• DO attend - It shows you are committed to your company and value team work.

• DON'T turn up too late - people will be bored of meeting and greeting after the initial entrances and won't be interested in you.

• DON'T wear your usual 'going out' gear - try a more conservative party dress from BHS or Marks & Spencers.

• DO remember it's still a business event - you still have to work with these people on Monday.

• DON'T buy tasteless or rude gifts for the Secret Santa - it's fine for your friends but not for work.

• DON'T commit career suicide -  avoid being loose tongued or making a fool of yourself in front of your boss.

• DON'T talk shop - people want to relax and enjoy their evening, so don't bore them to death

• DO watch you language - as my mum used to say ' it's not big and it's not clever'.

• DO circulate. -you may make new friends or get more favours done for you at work.

• DON'T try to get off with a colleague - this is NEVER a good idea.

• DON'T leave too soon - you may miss the most talked about event of the night.

Now you can go and enjoy your office party and hopefully be even more popular and relaxed come Monday.

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS AT XMAS

Relationships tend to suffer more at Christmas than at any other time of year and the main reason behind this is the stress and strain that the festive holidays bring.

To begin with there's all the organizing and arrangements to make for food, gifts and Christmas day itself which can up the stress levels, not to mention all the extra drinking and alcoholic tongue lashings that can take place.

The sheer financial strain we put ourselves through at Christmas can often lead to more arguments due to over exceeded budgets and unbalanced spending.

All this can then lead to less bedroom action and the romance button fully switched off, making us more distant from our loved ones.

Put all this together and you have a lot of stress, tiredness and confusion which naturally leads to a lot more tension between yourself and your partner.

So what to do?.....

Plan Christmas in advance by talking earlier with your partner about setting a financial budget to stick to, gift ideas and family matters. I know it may seem hard to believe but men actually can't read minds, so pre-empt what it is you want out of Christmas and tell him what you would like from him in December and what kind of Christmas you expect. Do you want help making the Christmas lunch or decorations? Do you need him to go and collect the family gifts? Don’t leave it all until the last minute then tell him what to do as it will cause tension and you will come across too bossy. By communicating early on you can ensure that you are both on the same page and ease the tension by knowing what you're both expected to take care of this Christmas.

If you do find that you're getting snappy as the pressure piles on try to apologize straight away and calmly explain why you're so stressed, maybe you need extra help with the shopping or card writing and by letting him know he will understand a lot more and be likely to help out rather than snap back.

If it's the perfect gift you want from him the simplest way for both of you is to create a 'Dear Santa' list to him with all the gifts you would love to receive, that way he can pick from the list and it makes it easier and less stressful for him and at least you can smile knowing you will be getting something that you really want.

Some of us hate having to do the whole visit relatives thing and put on that good impression whilst secretly wishing they would all just shut up and go away. If this sounds familiar then the best thing you can do is to not endure it alone. Stick together with your partner and explain before you attend any family event your worries and ask them not to leave you on your own. Perhaps come up with a time limit as to how long you're both going to stay at an event so that you can ease your minds and and not have to ramble your way through it all. If you have to go to a family event on your own then the best thing to do here is simply find your favorite family member (I.e. father, mother, auntie or drunk uncle who always hands out extra gifts) and stick with them all night. You don’t have to force yourself to speak to everyone so sit with your favorite and enjoy the evening with them instead.

Another sensible thing to do, and I know you're not going to like this, is to limit your alcohol intake and partying. It may seem hard but going to every event you get invited to is going to wear you out, not to mention all that alcohol will leave your body tired and dehydrated. More arguments can also ensue due to issues around each others drink fueled activities and rantings. By cutting down and selecting together just the important events you are helping yourself to reduce tiredness and stress levels too.

Remember Christmas is about relaxing and enjoying yourselves so don’t overdo it on the partying , talk and plan what your both going to do, set a strict budget and by missing those unimportant parties you also create time for just the two of you to reignite the romance.

HOW TO PULL YOUR XMAS CRACKER

If your looking for a man for Xmas, whether it's casual or Mr Right, try these tips.....

• What do you want? Think about whether it's a lover or a boyfriend you're looking for first.
• Speak to a friend about why you think you're single. What have your previous blocks been? Are you being too picky?
• Get out there! Finding a good man is not like shopping online, you don't just click and they turn up on your doorstep. 'Tis the season to have plenty of excuses to go out more and the Law of Probability suggests the more men you meet, the more chance you have of finding the one you want.
• Scan him out first. Check his availability over Xmas, and if he is unattached. If you want a man to keep you warm over the festive period, it's no good if he goes away skiing from 1st December to 1st January, so lightly drop into conversation what he does over Xmas.
• For the First Date suggest local and fun ideas that you're both into so he feels included. Why not try an outdoor icerink and a movie you both want to see.
• Book check yourself, meaning you must make sure you're both on the same page. If it's a relationship you want, make sure he's not just after one thing and vice versa.
• Mix it up to create more intimacy and staying power. Don't do things that only you or he likes, find common ground and share your mutual interests. Mix with each others friends' and family and create your own hobbies as a couple.
• As the Big Day approaches, don't push to be invited round for Xmas dinner. Go with the flow and have the chat earlier on about what he is doing on Xmas Day, this makes it more likely for him to offer you that invite you want.

Remember girls, if it's a relationship you want, then a man is not just for Xmas. However, if it's a lover you want ignore the nice 'not just for Xmas' sentiment and go have fun!

SNOWED IN!

Here's a handy list of things to do if your currently snowed in with your spouse and want to avoid boredom and cabin fever....

1) Sex - Stating the obvious, but being stuck in acts as the perfect excuse to catch up on your life between the sheets and also keeps you warm.


2) DVD Marathon - Get the box sets out, put the popcorn on and catch up on all those series or films you haven't had time to watch.


3) Get Cooking - Spend the afternoon creating a winter meal together.


4) Games - Play cards, go on the console together or even dust off the monopoly boards. Try playing for forfeits and fun stakes, like winner gets a massage or loser has to wash up.


5) Build a Snowman - Get creative and have a best snowman competition.


6) Make Decorations - Create some personal Xmas decorations together for when it's time to put the tree up.


7) Bed Day - Curl up under the duvet together and watch TV in your pj's.


8) Changing Rooms - If you have been putting off any decorating or DIY, work together on it and finally get it done in time for Xmas. Or why not change a room around to creat more space for your tree.


9) Snow Play - Get wrapped up and go play in the snow! Snowball fights or even sledging brings out the kid in you, no matter what age.


10) Relax - Open a bottle of wine and chat with each other. Talk and communicate whilst you have the free time to rediscover your love.


Don't sit and do separate things whilst your snowed in, get active together and see how it brings you closer so you can have an even better and happier Xmas.