RELATIONSHIP FUNDAMENTALS

Every relationship needs a good foundation in order to last and be happy. It's these building blocks at the base of a relationship that are the fundamentals and basics that are necessary to succeed with a partnership.

The 7 Fundamentals are:-

1) COMMITMENT.

"Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes, but no plans." - Peter F.Drucker

If you can show you are both committed to the relationship, it allows a strong foundation to grow and ensures you put the relationship before you own needs and wants.

2) COMMUNICATION.

"Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships." - Stephen R.Covey

The most common relationship problems stem from poor communication. Bottling up issues and feelings leads to arguments rather than discussions. You don't have to chat about feelings everyday, but should check in with each other to make sure your relationship is on track. Lack of communicating can take you on a path with less intimacy or closeness. So keep each other in your lives by talking and keeping the communication going.

3) COURAGE.

"Without courage, all other virtues lose their meaning." - Winston Churchill.

Having courage in a relationship is about the confidence you have to bring yourself into the relationship. To not falter and give up on yourself and face life together, without losing yourself along the way.

4) CONNECTION.

"This time when we kiss, I feel it in the pit of my stomach, I feel it in my heart. And I realise love isn't about sex - It's about connection." - Ellen Hopkins.

By having shown you are committed and communicating with your partner, already you have a connection with them. Keep the bond and connection strong between you by talking, knowing who they are and what they're about and being by their side in times of need.

5) COMPANIONSHIP.

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." - Friedrich Nietzsche.

A relationship cannot survive with just love and intimacy. IT also needs a good and long lasting friendship. Partners need to like each other and enjoy each others company for it to work in the long run.

6) COMPROMISE.

"Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break." - Jane Wells.

Everyone is an individual and as a couple there will often be times that each person has a different solution or opinion. Learning to meet in the middle with your partner and compromise, will ensure it carrys on being a solid relationship. It takes practice and involves good communication, but by meeting half way, you avoid any neglect or one sided resentment.

7) COMPASSION.

"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.Without them humanity cannot survive." - Dalai Lama.

To love you partner also involves the ability to understand them and listen and empathise. It is part of being caring and showing kindness to each other and ensures behaviour and treatment to each other remains good and balanced.

DO MEN PREFER BITCHES?

One of the most popular self help books is 'Why Men Love Bitches' by Sherry Argov, which is a book that gives women advice about what they should and shouldn't do to keep a man.
So do men actually prefer women to be a bitch?
It is not so far fetched, seeing as women tend to be attracted to jerks and bad boys. So what is it a bitch does that grabs a mans heart?
Here's an idea of bitch qualities that attract men, but be aware of bitch flaws that will have quite the opposite effect and send men running for the hills.


Bitch Qualities:

• Confidence. It's sexy and very intoxicating to be around a confident woman.
• Independence. Don't be that girl who has no life of her own and don't be that girl who is clingy and smothering.
• Feisty. Men love a woman who can take shit and give it right back. Banter and passion for what you believe in can go a long way.
• Beauty. It's not about 3 inch deep make up or walking around like you're the next Paris Hilton, but always looking good like you made no effort at all, is far sexier than walking around in a 3 day old jumper.

Bitch Flaws:

• Ice Queen. You're not going to get another date if you're colder than a fish and show no warmth or friendliness.
• Narcissism. Men don't need to know how pretty you think you are, watch you take yet another photo of yourself or hear about how awesome you think you are.
• Attitude. No man likes a pouty princess, who spends all her time complaining and being negative.

WHAT WOMAN SAY AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

She Says: “I'm fine”.

She Means: Something is wrong, I'm not fine and I will be mad at you if you don't figure out what's wrong.

What To Do: Make a mental note that in a woman's vocabulary, 'fine' has the same meaning as 'awful' and do your best to gently coax out of her what's wrong.

She Says: “What are you doing tonight?”

She Means: What are you doing with me tonight? When a woman asks what your plans are, it's because she intends to make plans with you.

What To Do: Answer with “I'm spending it with you of course, what did you have in mind?”

She Says: “That shirt looks nice, you should wear it more often.”

She Means: This is the only nice piece of clothing you own, please go and buy more clothes that look like that.

What To Do: Wear it again and go shopping, asking her to come along.

She Says: “Sure I'll watch the sports game with you.”

She Means: I'm only putting myself through this hell so I can spend time with you.

What To Do: A none sporty woman watching the game with you is the equivalent of you enduring 3 hours in a shoe shop with her, so she must really care about you. Appreciate this gesture and make sure you reciprocate her gesture.

She Says: “Do you get on well with your mother/brother/father?”

She Means: Are you a family man? She needs to see you as a loyal and sensitive future husband.

What To Do: Tell a couple of stories about the fun you had with your mother/brother/father in order to reassure her.

She Says: “Who was that girl you were talking to?”

She Means: If SHE ever comes near you again I am literally going to rip her head off and use it as a toilet brush.

What To Do: Answer the question of who it was and mention what you were talking about, then kiss her and compliment her, changing the subject.

ARE YOU HEADING FOR DUMPSVILLE?

January is being deemed as National Divorce Month, because millions of couples don't make it through Christmas each year.
So as the festive season ends and the most popular time of year for being dumped approaches, here are my signs to tell if you're about to be dumped.....

• He's busy all the time. Quality time together suddenly declines and you find yourself becoming less of a priority.

• Only you do the calling. It has become one sided with the phone calls and you often have to leave a message.

• He says he's in one place but is really in another. People don't lie for no reason, so if he's fibbing about where he is then there's a reason for his deception.

• His friends are more distant with you. Friends often pick up on a relationship being over pretty quickly when someone wants out.

• PDA's are gone. You used to kiss and hold hands when you were out, but now you are lucky if you get as much as a peck on the cheek.

• New sex tricks crop up. If he suddenly starts showing some new moves in the bedroom, he's either avoiding a familiar emotional attachment with you ,or he's learning them from someone else.

• He's vague about the future. If he can't even make up his mind about next Wednesday, it could be because he's planned to have no future with you by then.

• He gives you a pat on the back. Being hugged by someone, who then pats you on the back is an indication they are uneasy.

• You can't do anything right. If they are picking fights over every little thing you do, then something bigger isn't right and they may be trying to get you to dump them.

• He has turned into a fitty. He used to wear your tracky bottoms around the house or wear yesterdays T-shirt again, but now he is suddenly going to the gym, buying Gucci suits, new Calvin Kleins and wearing more aftershave.

• No more nagging. This is for the boys and may sound counter intuitive, but if your girl suddenly stops nagging and criticizing you, it may be because she has given up on the relationship and therefore sees no further point in putting energy into nagging you.

None of these are good signs, but instead of getting paranoid and fearful, get smart! Write a list to yourself of all your strengths, your friends and all his weaknesses. then have the talk with your partner to find out exactly what is going on. If they want out you will already have a list of all the great things about you and his bad habits you hate and a friend support network, in order to keep you strong and get through the breakup.