Saturday, 8 January 2011


She Says: “I'm fine”.
She Means: Something is wrong, I'm not fine and I will be mad at you if you don't figure out what's wrong.
What To Do: Make a mental note that in a woman's vocabulary, 'fine' has the same meaning as 'awful' and do your best to gently coax out of her what's wrong.

She Says: “What are you doing tonight?”
She Means: What are you doing with me tonight? When a woman asks what your plans are, it's because she intends to make plans with you.
What To Do: Answer with “I'm spending it with you of course, what did you have in mind?”

She Says: “That shirt looks nice, you should wear it more often.”
She Means: This is the only nice piece of clothing you own, please go and buy more clothes that look like that.
What To Do: Wear it again and go shopping, asking her to come along.

She Says: “Sure I'll watch the sports game with you.”
She Means: I'm only putting myself through this hell so I can spend time with you.
What To Do: A none sporty woman watching the game with you is the equivalent of you enduring 3 hours in a shoe shop with her, so she must really care about you. Appreciate this gesture and make sure you reciprocate her gesture.

She Says: “Do you get on well with your mother/brother/father?”
She Means: Are you a family man? She needs to see you as a loyal and sensitive future husband.
What To Do: Tell a couple of stories about the fun you had with your mother/brother/father in order to reassure her.

She Says: “Who was that girl you were talking to?”
She Means: If SHE ever comes near you again I am literally going to rip her head off and use it as a toilet brush.
What To Do: Answer the question of who it was and mention what you were talking about, then kiss her and compliment her, changing the subject.

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