WHY VALENTINES IS BETTER IF YOU'RE SINGLE

Facebook is already full of groups and pages about 'if you're single and miserable on Valentines Day' and 'How I wish Valentines would do one!'

Now I completely understand that as a single girl, Valentines must be a tough time and quite sickening with all the lovey dovey crap everywhere ( I have been there). But I want to tell you something...stop moaning! You don’t realize just how good you've got it!

Before you start calling me a bitch, who has no idea because I’m in a relationship, then let me explain.

Valentines Day is built up to be the most romantic day of the year and everywhere you turn there are flowers, hearts and teddies. Now, us girls love romance! We daydream of romantic dates, being swept off our feet, receiving love letters and slow music to candlelight. In reality, most men don't know the meaning of romance. The best that attached girls get on Valentines Day is a last minute present and card from a supermarket, a meal at a busy ( and packed full of other couples, therefore soooo not intimate) restaurant, and some late night, half drunk sex. No star gazing, horse drawn carriages or real romance in sight.

Now, before the guys start calling me a bitch, I said most men, not all men! And it's not your fault you don’t understand this romance thing, you’re drawn in by all the cheap gifts and cliché stuff in shops and your minds are too busy with guy stuff to carefully plan a date. There are some guys out there who do come through and offer romance, but I’m talking to the girls out there who have a misguided view on just how romantic non single girls really have it. Your not missing much, trust me! In fact, your more than likely going to have a better and more relaxing night on your own than a lot of poor attached girls out there! Follow my 'Single Girls Guide to Valentines Day' for your perfect evening and please stop whinging at the fact you are so hard done by because you're single this weekend!

As for you men out there, remember a girl wants to be made to feel special and unique, so a last minute and rushed gift just makes us feel crap.

As for my man, I was there when you proposed, so I know you can be romantic and I have faith in you and love you, so you are excluded from this.

VALENTINES GIFTS

Spa Treatment.

Nothing says pamper better than a voucher for her favorite treatment and it will leave her feeling like a Princess.

Flowers.

Ah yes, the ever appreciated bunch of flowers. But it must be done right! If she has a favorite type of flower, get her those. If it has to be roses, make sure it's significant, like a rose for each month you have been together. Or try and push the boat out by getting them delivered to her with a sweet note saying 'From Your Valentine.'

Personalized Love Book.

I love this gift! It's a book with your own list of reasons as to why you love that person. Sweet and personal doesn’t even come close!

Jewelery.

A carefully chosen necklace or bracelet will go a long way, but make sure it's something beautiful and romantic, that she would never go and buy for herself.

Hearts.

What Valentines Day would be complete without a heart shaped gift, whether its a keyring, heart cushion or gift.

Chocolate.

Now I'm not talking about a box of quality Street or Celebrations here boys. I'm talking the expensive Belgian kind that cost a small fortune, because when it comes to Valentines Day the chocolates need to be good!

Boudoir Gifts.

From lingerie to sexy games and candles. Just make sure this isn’t the only gifts you get her and add something in there that’s romantic too.

Personalized Artwork.

A must have trend, especially for couples who live together.

Weekend Break.

Every girls dream is for her man to surprise with a romantic weekend away!

Name a Star.

For the ultimate romantics out there. Name a star after her, then on your date, show her the stars and point out which one is hers as a surprise.

SINGLE GIRLS GUIDE TO VALENTINES DAY

The most sickening and mushy day of the year is almost here, where couples everywhere declare their love for each other. But you're single, so does this mean you have to stay in and hide under the covers? No!!

Here are some suggestions of what to do on Valentines Day if you're single....

• Spend the night with your crush. Whether it's George Clooney, johnny Depp or Brad Pitt (for me it's Jared Padalecki), rent their movies and treat yourself to your favorite eye candy.

• Exchange gifts with friends. Buy your single friend a valentine present, cute teddy or pair fluffy handcuffs and have a valentines with your friends.

• Hit the town! Get your unattached friends and go out. Plenty of bars and clubs have events for single people on Valentines, so have fun!

• Treat yourself. You don’t have to spend your hard earned cash on a guy, so spend it on yourself, with a manicure or new pair of shoes.

• Go on a date. Just because you're single doesn’t mean you cant get a girlfriend or platonic male friend and recreate a date, with dinner and a movie.

• Party! If you cant be bothered to see all the loved up couples everywhere, then stay in and throw a party for all your unattached friends.

• Buy yourself a box of chocolates and indulge with a bubble bath and bottle of bubbly.

And remember to think how lucky you are for not having to go buy all the commercial heart and cherub shaped goods that shops force non singles to buy at this time of year!

VALENTINES ROMANTIC DATE IDEAS

The most romantic day of the year is approaching, but how can you make it a date with a difference? Dates generally go like this...dinner, movie or activity, sex. You could go to the shops and throw as many heart shaped valentine gifts into the mix as your wage affords, or you could try something different for your date that focuses more on romance.

E Card Invite. Send an e-card with a picture of a sunset inviting your partner to join you at a favorite park or place and watch the sunset together.

Recreate Your First Date. Go to the same place, wear the same clothes, order the same food and wear the same perfumes.

Fruity Indulgence. Make your own or buy some chocolate dipped strawberries, cherries or bananas. Blindfold your partner and feed them the fruit.

Get Bath Together. Set the scene with sumptuous bubbles, candles, music and champagne.

Serenade Them. Write a song and sing it to your loved one Romeo and Juliet style outside their window. It wont matter if you can't sing, as it's the gesture that counts.

Treasure Hunt. Set up notes and clues while they are out and let the present be you! Set a trail so that they go to a fridge full of strawberries to try, a bath full of rose petals, lingerie set out on the bed to put on, a glass of champagne in the living room to drink, then finally you with roses and a smile.

Go Italian. In ages gone by, the Italians celebrated Valentines Day by going to parks with lovers and listening to music and poetry readings. Recreate this by going to your favorite park and reading love poems to them with a bottle of wine.

Carpet Picnic. February is a cold month, so why not set candles out and lay on a blanket on the floor and have a romantic picnic indoors.

Naked Chef. If you're a man, why not wear a bow tie and waiter apron and nothing else! Then serve your partner a lovely home cooked meal.

Bring the Restaurant to You! A lot of restaurants now offer a takeout service, so try a romantic meal at home with a professionally catered meal.

Star Gazing. Do a little research on which local places are good for stargazing and take your loved one to see the stars. Get some binoculars and planisphere to help. Buy a star named after your partner, then surprise them with it whilst star gazing.

Horse Drawn Carriage. Hire one and snuggle under the blankets for the most romantic drive ever!

THE MEANING OF ST VALENTINES DAY

Each year the shops fill with Valentines goodies and each year we celebrate the most romantic day of the year (or avoid it like the plague if we're single). But what exactly is Valentines Day about and what is the real meaning behind it?

St Valentine is derived from both Christian and Roman tradition. There once was a few Roman martyrs called Valentines, but the St Valentine we all celebrate was a Roman priest who was killed for his faith on February 14 269AD. He had refused to worship pagan Gods and would marry many couples in secret.

The Romans held a festival on February 15^th each year, called Lupercalia, a fertility celebration. But as Christianity rose and overtook a lot of Pagan holidays, Pope Gelasius turned Lupercalia into a Christian feast day to honor St Valentine in 496AD and changing it to the 14^th..

Catholics and Protestants both offer a different version of the story of St Valentine, but both agree that St Valentine married soldiers in secret who opposed Claudius II's prohibition on marriage for soldiers. Claudius found out and executed him on February 14 269AD.

It is said that just before his death, Valentine asked for a pen and paper and wrote 'From Your Valentine' to a secret love of his own.

From then on February 14^th became St Valentines Day, the day for lovers and it is said that Romans offered hand written messages, known as Valentines, to the women they loved.

IS HE READY TO PROPOSE?

The day my boyfriend proposed I was so taken a back that I laughed at him and took it as a joke. I had no idea and had clearly not seen the signs.

If you want to save your own boyfriend the embarrassment of what mine went through, keep a look out for the signs he may be about to propose.

He's Acting Nervous – Proposing to a woman is a frightening experience for a man, so his behavior may be slightly out of character.

Trying To Be Mr Perfect – He's suddenly started making the bed, giving you foot rubs and attempting to be the perfect boyfriend. Guys will pop the question only when they are sure the answer will be yes, so they attempt to be the perfect man to help put you in the best mood possible.

He Becomes Scrooge – diamond engagement rings aren't exactly cheap, so if he starts tightening the wallet about things he never used to, he may be saving for something shiney.

Are You Missing a Ring? - Your man may need to find your ring size and this may include looking in your jewelery box for a ring to get it sized.

Asking odd Questions – Is he suddenly asking questions about your future? How many kids you want? What color jewelery you prefer? These are signs he's ready to commit and get you that ring.

Family Orientated – Does he want to spend more time with your family, particularly your dad? He may be trying to get used to his new future family and if he's a traditionalist, he may be trying to get your dad onside in order to ask to propose.

Unexpected Outing – After all this odd behavior, he plans a vague romantic event for you, like a reservation at an exclusive restaurant or a weekend away.

Looking back, my man had been showing signs, but because I wasn't aware of them, I made it a joke and if only I had known he was acting like a man about to propose, my reaction would have been less embarrassing. I said yes of course and I hope your man, no matter where he does it, at least drops to one knee and asks you properly like mine did.

Good luck girls!

RELATIONSHIP FUNDAMENTALS

Every relationship needs a good foundation in order to last and be happy. It's these building blocks at the base of a relationship that are the fundamentals and basics that are necessary to succeed with a partnership.

The 7 Fundamentals are:-

1) COMMITMENT.

"Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes, but no plans." - Peter F.Drucker

If you can show you are both committed to the relationship, it allows a strong foundation to grow and ensures you put the relationship before you own needs and wants.

2) COMMUNICATION.

"Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships." - Stephen R.Covey

The most common relationship problems stem from poor communication. Bottling up issues and feelings leads to arguments rather than discussions. You don't have to chat about feelings everyday, but should check in with each other to make sure your relationship is on track. Lack of communicating can take you on a path with less intimacy or closeness. So keep each other in your lives by talking and keeping the communication going.

3) COURAGE.

"Without courage, all other virtues lose their meaning." - Winston Churchill.

Having courage in a relationship is about the confidence you have to bring yourself into the relationship. To not falter and give up on yourself and face life together, without losing yourself along the way.

4) CONNECTION.

"This time when we kiss, I feel it in the pit of my stomach, I feel it in my heart. And I realise love isn't about sex - It's about connection." - Ellen Hopkins.

By having shown you are committed and communicating with your partner, already you have a connection with them. Keep the bond and connection strong between you by talking, knowing who they are and what they're about and being by their side in times of need.

5) COMPANIONSHIP.

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." - Friedrich Nietzsche.

A relationship cannot survive with just love and intimacy. IT also needs a good and long lasting friendship. Partners need to like each other and enjoy each others company for it to work in the long run.

6) COMPROMISE.

"Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break." - Jane Wells.

Everyone is an individual and as a couple there will often be times that each person has a different solution or opinion. Learning to meet in the middle with your partner and compromise, will ensure it carrys on being a solid relationship. It takes practice and involves good communication, but by meeting half way, you avoid any neglect or one sided resentment.

7) COMPASSION.

"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.Without them humanity cannot survive." - Dalai Lama.

To love you partner also involves the ability to understand them and listen and empathise. It is part of being caring and showing kindness to each other and ensures behaviour and treatment to each other remains good and balanced.

DO MEN PREFER BITCHES?

One of the most popular self help books is 'Why Men Love Bitches' by Sherry Argov, which is a book that gives women advice about what they should and shouldn't do to keep a man.
So do men actually prefer women to be a bitch?
It is not so far fetched, seeing as women tend to be attracted to jerks and bad boys. So what is it a bitch does that grabs a mans heart?
Here's an idea of bitch qualities that attract men, but be aware of bitch flaws that will have quite the opposite effect and send men running for the hills.


Bitch Qualities:

• Confidence. It's sexy and very intoxicating to be around a confident woman.
• Independence. Don't be that girl who has no life of her own and don't be that girl who is clingy and smothering.
• Feisty. Men love a woman who can take shit and give it right back. Banter and passion for what you believe in can go a long way.
• Beauty. It's not about 3 inch deep make up or walking around like you're the next Paris Hilton, but always looking good like you made no effort at all, is far sexier than walking around in a 3 day old jumper.

Bitch Flaws:

• Ice Queen. You're not going to get another date if you're colder than a fish and show no warmth or friendliness.
• Narcissism. Men don't need to know how pretty you think you are, watch you take yet another photo of yourself or hear about how awesome you think you are.
• Attitude. No man likes a pouty princess, who spends all her time complaining and being negative.

WHAT WOMAN SAY AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

She Says: “I'm fine”.

She Means: Something is wrong, I'm not fine and I will be mad at you if you don't figure out what's wrong.

What To Do: Make a mental note that in a woman's vocabulary, 'fine' has the same meaning as 'awful' and do your best to gently coax out of her what's wrong.

She Says: “What are you doing tonight?”

She Means: What are you doing with me tonight? When a woman asks what your plans are, it's because she intends to make plans with you.

What To Do: Answer with “I'm spending it with you of course, what did you have in mind?”

She Says: “That shirt looks nice, you should wear it more often.”

She Means: This is the only nice piece of clothing you own, please go and buy more clothes that look like that.

What To Do: Wear it again and go shopping, asking her to come along.

She Says: “Sure I'll watch the sports game with you.”

She Means: I'm only putting myself through this hell so I can spend time with you.

What To Do: A none sporty woman watching the game with you is the equivalent of you enduring 3 hours in a shoe shop with her, so she must really care about you. Appreciate this gesture and make sure you reciprocate her gesture.

She Says: “Do you get on well with your mother/brother/father?”

She Means: Are you a family man? She needs to see you as a loyal and sensitive future husband.

What To Do: Tell a couple of stories about the fun you had with your mother/brother/father in order to reassure her.

She Says: “Who was that girl you were talking to?”

She Means: If SHE ever comes near you again I am literally going to rip her head off and use it as a toilet brush.

What To Do: Answer the question of who it was and mention what you were talking about, then kiss her and compliment her, changing the subject.

ARE YOU HEADING FOR DUMPSVILLE?

January is being deemed as National Divorce Month, because millions of couples don't make it through Christmas each year.
So as the festive season ends and the most popular time of year for being dumped approaches, here are my signs to tell if you're about to be dumped.....

• He's busy all the time. Quality time together suddenly declines and you find yourself becoming less of a priority.

• Only you do the calling. It has become one sided with the phone calls and you often have to leave a message.

• He says he's in one place but is really in another. People don't lie for no reason, so if he's fibbing about where he is then there's a reason for his deception.

• His friends are more distant with you. Friends often pick up on a relationship being over pretty quickly when someone wants out.

• PDA's are gone. You used to kiss and hold hands when you were out, but now you are lucky if you get as much as a peck on the cheek.

• New sex tricks crop up. If he suddenly starts showing some new moves in the bedroom, he's either avoiding a familiar emotional attachment with you ,or he's learning them from someone else.

• He's vague about the future. If he can't even make up his mind about next Wednesday, it could be because he's planned to have no future with you by then.

• He gives you a pat on the back. Being hugged by someone, who then pats you on the back is an indication they are uneasy.

• You can't do anything right. If they are picking fights over every little thing you do, then something bigger isn't right and they may be trying to get you to dump them.

• He has turned into a fitty. He used to wear your tracky bottoms around the house or wear yesterdays T-shirt again, but now he is suddenly going to the gym, buying Gucci suits, new Calvin Kleins and wearing more aftershave.

• No more nagging. This is for the boys and may sound counter intuitive, but if your girl suddenly stops nagging and criticizing you, it may be because she has given up on the relationship and therefore sees no further point in putting energy into nagging you.

None of these are good signs, but instead of getting paranoid and fearful, get smart! Write a list to yourself of all your strengths, your friends and all his weaknesses. then have the talk with your partner to find out exactly what is going on. If they want out you will already have a list of all the great things about you and his bad habits you hate and a friend support network, in order to keep you strong and get through the breakup.