Sunday, 5 December 2010


Relationships tend to suffer more at Christmas than at any other time of year and the main reason behind this is the stress and strain that the festive holidays bring.

To begin with there's all the organizing and arrangements to make for food, gifts and Christmas day itself which can up the stress levels, not to mention all the extra drinking and alcoholic tongue lashings that can take place.

The sheer financial strain we put ourselves through at Christmas can often lead to more arguments due to over exceeded budgets and unbalanced spending.

All this can then lead to less bedroom action and the romance button fully switched off, making us more distant from our loved ones.

Put all this together and you have a lot of stress, tiredness and confusion which naturally leads to a lot more tension between yourself and your partner.

So what to do?.....

Plan Christmas in advance by talking earlier with your partner about setting a financial budget to stick to, gift ideas and family matters. I know it may seem hard to believe but men actually can't read minds, so pre-empt what it is you want out of Christmas and tell him what you would like from him in December and what kind of Christmas you expect. Do you want help making the Christmas lunch or decorations? Do you need him to go and collect the family gifts? Don’t leave it all until the last minute then tell him what to do as it will cause tension and you will come across too bossy. By communicating early on you can ensure that you are both on the same page and ease the tension by knowing what you're both expected to take care of this Christmas.

If you do find that you're getting snappy as the pressure piles on try to apologize straight away and calmly explain why you're so stressed, maybe you need extra help with the shopping or card writing and by letting him know he will understand a lot more and be likely to help out rather than snap back.

If it's the perfect gift you want from him the simplest way for both of you is to create a 'Dear Santa' list to him with all the gifts you would love to receive, that way he can pick from the list and it makes it easier and less stressful for him and at least you can smile knowing you will be getting something that you really want.

Some of us hate having to do the whole visit relatives thing and put on that good impression whilst secretly wishing they would all just shut up and go away. If this sounds familiar then the best thing you can do is to not endure it alone. Stick together with your partner and explain before you attend any family event your worries and ask them not to leave you on your own. Perhaps come up with a time limit as to how long you're both going to stay at an event so that you can ease your minds and and not have to ramble your way through it all. If you have to go to a family event on your own then the best thing to do here is simply find your favorite family member (I.e. father, mother, auntie or drunk uncle who always hands out extra gifts) and stick with them all night. You don’t have to force yourself to speak to everyone so sit with your favorite and enjoy the evening with them instead.

Another sensible thing to do, and I know you're not going to like this, is to limit your alcohol intake and partying. It may seem hard but going to every event you get invited to is going to wear you out, not to mention all that alcohol will leave your body tired and dehydrated. More arguments can also ensue due to issues around each others drink fueled activities and rantings. By cutting down and selecting together just the important events you are helping yourself to reduce tiredness and stress levels too.

Remember Christmas is about relaxing and enjoying yourselves so don’t overdo it on the partying , talk and plan what your both going to do, set a strict budget and by missing those unimportant parties you also create time for just the two of you to reignite the romance.

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